Confession

April 29th, 2015

I am a cheater.

I cheat by not caring about all the social norms, by not following them.  I cheat by saying that life should be fun, not serious.  I cheat by not going along with the crowd.

I disagree with many aspects of our culture and this feels like cheating.  This feels like I’m doing it wrong.  Because who is wrong – the individual or the larger group?  What does it mean to be ‘wrong’?  Does it mean being the only one doing something a certain way while everyone else does it another way?  Does it mean going against the accepted norms?

Or is there an individual compass that I use – that each of us uses – to determine what is right or wrong?  Because certainly I can only ever decide what is right or wrong for me.  I cannot decide what is right or wrong for anyone else – oh perhaps temporarily for my children but we all outgrow that quickly.  We are born as whole, complete beings, and we know early on what we want and what makes us happy.  The only ‘right and wrong’ we learn has to do with how to get along in society, in other words, how to avoid getting in trouble.  (And, yes, some safety issues in terms of how not to get physically hurt.)

Right and Wrong is determined by the group.  Right and Wrong can change because the group can change their collective mind, which implies that right and wrong are not absolute.

So I could determine my own right and wrong because the group’s idea of correctness is unstable and unpredictable.  And I’m not going to wait for the group to agree with what I know to be true for me.  Maybe they never would and I would be waiting forever.

Will I continue to cheat?  Yes.  Do I know anyone who does not cheat in some way or another?  I don’t think so, but I only know a handful of people.  Still, this tells me that we probably all push against the boundaries in our own ways.  We are trying to fit into the system even though we know we’re more round than we are square, and we’re so many different kinds of round.  I’ll bet that even the people who make the rules don’t follow them to the letter.  What does that say about Right and Wrong?

I am a cheater because I know in my heart what love is and I know it’s not the guiding principle of our society, at least not yet.  I don’t know what this would look like but I’m pretty sure I know what it would feel like.  So I will continue to cheat in order to feel this way as often as I possibly can.

I am a cheater.



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