For Everything

September 6th, 2014

When I first started writing here, I kept wanting to bring things back to a “Positive” place.  I wanted this to be a source of inspiration and love.  Finally I have realized that without proper balance between the dark and light that things will appear not as they are but as some false and shallow image made up in the midst of guilt and suppression.

So I move on to explore all aspects of life, all the emotions, all the visions.  There is no right and wrong, nothing good or bad lest I say it is so.  So here it is, the beginning of the real Beginning.  A discussion inspired by recent events, in honor of All That Is:

Anger wants to be directed at someone or something; it has a direction, a point, a charge that wants to dissipate.  Anger is obvious and current.

Hate, on the other hand, wants to lurk in the background.  Hate wants to survive so it hides itself, keeping its energy to itself.  Hate is anger stored.

Anger is like venom being spit out.  Hate is like swallowing the venom.

Anger is loud and sometimes violent, but almost always immediate and short-lived.  I think rage fits in here, like a transitional state from hate to anger.  All that pressure from hate erupts into rage; this is the outlet, the expression of the suppressed.

Meanwhile, hate ignores.  Hate invalidates that which is ignored.  It is an intentional ignorance which propagates itself as often as it possibly can.  Hate wants to live forever.

As the hate sinks to the depths of my being, it pools up around my feet.  Hate condenses into this puddle of rage waiting to happen.  I am standing in it.  I am afraid of what might happen if it gets out.

I suppose anger is a step up from hate, yes?  And that is where I am.  I am moving from hate to anger.  Anger is definitely more dynamic; hate stews and steams, and rarely takes action.  Hate just sits there, judging, fuming, sickening.

So what to do with the anger?  Let it out, I’m told.  Perhaps not at anyone, but admit to it to myself at the very least.  Own it, as they say, take responsibility.  When I stand in it and see what I have wrought, I realize I can make something else.  This is not the only option, this anger (or hate).

I do feel that I ought to flush out the hate.  Maybe the Earth can take in the energy like a fuel.  The essence of the emotion that gave the energy form could float off into the air, and as long as I don’t call it back to me it is done.

It’s like the emotion holds the form of whatever has been manifested….



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