All At Once

May 28th, 2014

It finally hit me the other day – the idea that mortality makes each moment even more precious.  My dog was sick and while I was worried about her I realized that that very moment, while I was hugging her, was it.  It could be over in a day, an hour, even minutes, so it was impressed upon me to truly dive into the current moment.

She’s fine now, but most likely I will outlive her so it behooves me to spend real time with her – undistracted, present and connected.

I have recently begun to feel multiple emotions all at once.  Sadness and joy.  Anger and laughter.  During these moments I feel like I’m floating, my body tingling, my focus in the center.  There’s a dizziness to this, as if my attention is trying to focus but the field is too broad.  I don’t think these sensations matter, they’re just interesting.  Maybe they help keep me present, I don’t really know.

But I did learn something this week.  This current moment is all there is, or at least it’s where all the power is.  So while I am feeling great love for my dog at the same time as the pending, inevitable grief of her passing, I am absolutely living.

Because of our limited time here, being truly present with those I love honors them and this life I have been given.  I ask forgiveness for those times I forget, and a reminder of where I am.  There is a place to this experience, and a time, and while it doesn’t always feel natural to me it does fill me with awe.

Thank you.



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