Pre-Formed for Your Convenience

November 30th, 2013

I noticed recently how when I thought of someone, I had this Form for them, this space in my sphere where they were supposed to ‘fit.’  It made it really clear to me that I was creating my ideas of them and therefore how they appeared to me.  And no matter what they did I was gonna make it fit into the space I had for them.

At this moment, I decided that rather than having a pre-formed space for them to fill in when I interact with them, I would simply open up completely to allow them to form themselves as they choose (not as I choose).  This felt a bit vulnerable at first but then freeing as I was no longer responsible for them.  I am, of course, responsible for how I feel about them and our interactions, but who they are, that’s totally, completely, 100% up to them.  All the time.  Phew!

The best part of this is that it has changed how people appear to me.  I could say they are behaving differently, but maybe it’s more that I am actually seeing all of what they are presenting to me as opposed to filtering it through some format I’ve created ahead of time.

It also appeared to me that others might be doing the same thing, i.e. that they have created a preconceived format for me to appear in.  And I realized that could be why it’s so hard for us to make changes in how we behave.  So maybe we do behave differently when someone changes their expectations of us.  Maybe we do try to fit into the spaces we’ve created for each other – it certainly keeps things running smoothly.  There’s no conflict, no trying to fit the square peg into the round hole, we just become round.

The good news is that we can still be who we are; we can retain our own form even if someone has a strangely shaped space reserved for us.  It’s difficult, to be sure.  When I went vegetarian over a decade ago, it was interesting to me which of my family and friends accepted it right away, who remembered and who didn’t, and who kept on insisting that it wasn’t good for me to do so (this last group were the ones who never remembered, apparently so we could have the same conversation over and over again).

I don’t blame anyone for any of this, not if I also did it for most of my life.  We are all in on it.  Well, I’m not ‘in’ any more, but you get the idea.  I suppose there may still be remnants in my world view.  I’m hoping they all come up for clearing, and the sooner the better.  I do not want to be forming people in my head, I want to be meeting them in real life.

The trick is, for me anyways, to keep the space clear at all times, or at least as much as I can.  This asks of me a presence I have been aiming at for the last two decades so I appreciate another tool or route to get me there… here… now.

Really all of this brings back memories of my first declaration to wake up:  I intend to learn to love unconditionally.  At that time, unconditional love and pure presence were one and the same, at least in my mind.  There was no way for me to be present and not feel that all-pervasive love that is.  And when I was feeling unfettered and rampant love I definitely felt very much like I was attending to the current moment.

Maybe it’s just that love and attention are one and the same.  I don’t know, really.  I just know that this new way of un-forming the world around me is working out very well.  I feel free and full and open.  It’s as if I’m standing in the archway between the physical and non, breathing them through the opening, breathing them together into oneness.

I am excited to see what changes this new perspective brings into my human life.  In the meantime, I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and look forward to meeting my fellow explorers, as they are, in this wide open space.



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