Love Those Buttons

August 17th, 2012

I have a huge button on the back of my car that says “I hate tailgaters.” It’s an energetic button, of course, but the point is that I seem to attract a lot of tailgaters. No, I don’t drive too slow, in fact I’m usually going around 5 mph over the speed limit (except in some areas, like around schools or in quiet residential areas).

The reason I bring this up is because I am laughing at my buttons. I am discovering the remaining ones, and they are huge and clear, and I love it because I can see them. I get immediate feedback from them which helps me to find them.

I am not judging my buttons. They are simply there at the moment. At some point they will dissolve, somehow, most likely by my simply noticing them. Or through the inner work I am doing. But they will go eventually.

There is also a huge button on my forehead that says “don’t put words into my mouth.” Now this one is vague because so many things that people say can be interpreted (by me) as them trying to put words or thoughts onto me. How fun is that?

In digging deeper I see that there is this part of me that just wants to be right. And I want people to know it. So even if what they say is true (in that I agree with it), I don’t want someone else telling me what I think (or how I feel, etc.). Is this a bad thing? Of course not, it’s just what I feel right now. I can see that eventually I will let go of this button and people will be able to say anything to me without my having (wanting!) to correct them. I look forward to the day that someone can be driving so close that I can see the expression on their face*, and I will just let them be.

Until then I am looking my buttons right in the eyes, working up some love. I am laughing right now so I’ll take that as a sign that I’m lightening up about all this.

*Funny thing about this, there are all kinds of expressions going on. Some are looking mad or impatient, some are singing, some are talking, some are just looking around. In other words, it’s not as if they all look mad at me. In fact, I’d say the majority of them are just driving, just hanging out. Now that’s funny to me!



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